Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
