Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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