Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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