How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
