paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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