I heard we made out
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
