Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Is Oprah even human
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
