Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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