Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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