I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
