I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
