i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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