I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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