Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
