Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
