Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
