Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just gift wrapped bread.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize