we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
