whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
