First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize