Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Four minutes until I can fart!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You may now shotgun with the bride
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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