I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i think i have herpe
just one?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
