What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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