So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
