Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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