are you so shy because you have an std?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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