everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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