I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
