I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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