I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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