so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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