my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
