i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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