do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My vagina just recognized that song.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
