apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
