So drunk its hurt
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize