What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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