i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
