So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize