I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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