I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I smell stomach acid.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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