Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
