I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
