you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
