If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize