I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
