my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
