I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
