I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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