Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Come on in and take your pants off
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