the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
