I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
