yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
