I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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