So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
