I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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