Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
birth control should be required to get into college
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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