as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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