rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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