It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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