Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
