I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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