he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
