so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize