you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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