where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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