Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
